I've been in the hospital too long already and I have to stay here longer. I got my stem cells back 4 days ago, but those take a little while to kick in. Currently I just feel worse and worse every day because of the high dose chemo: it keeps affecting your body for a while after you actually get it. I feel pretty lousy right now, and I'll probably feel worse before I feel better, but there are some positive aspects.
All the doctors who come see me are all satisfied with how things are going. I'm still eating (kind of), I haven't really been nauseous or thrown up (other than when they gave me my stem cells back, that was the only time I threw up) so I can keep some food down. Also, during the time I was getting the chemo called Thiotepa, I had to take a bath every six hours. The chemo is released from the body through the skin, so on top of feeling miserable, there were five days during which I had to take a bath every six hours. Needless to say, I'm glad that part's over.
I won't lie: I feel pretty horrible and I wish I didn't have to do this. There's nothing I would rather do than just go home right now.
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8 comments:
Hi Miles,
We miss you at NCP! Wishing you a better day tomorrow!
Miles! I just heard from your Dad about what's been going on with you. I'm so very sorry to hear you're going through what you are right now.
I can see from this blog, that despite what's going on biochemically in your body right now, you remain a vibrant, incredibly smart, and amazing example of a human being.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish you soon get to experience the opposite swing of the pendulum... you've certainly earned some astonishing joy and joys to come.
Infinite Love & Gratitude to you.
- Jenn Brandel
I am really impressed that under all these circumstances, you have the wherewithal to keep your blog updated. I've only written three blogs in four years.
I know things have been rough, but I have a really good feeling about this latest treatment. I also think you picked the right time to get this out of the way because when you finally get home, it's actually going to be sunny and fun in Chicago.
The second you feel like you're ready to have visitors, I'd like to come say hi.
Stay positive. It suits you.
Prescott
From: Rose Panieri
Miles, I was friends with your Aunt Margaret in high school. We recently found each other and she shared your blog with me.
That's some hell you're going through, and you're doing it with dignity and humor. That has to be difficult. I'm sure it's a battle at times to stay positive, but you do a darn good job of it.
I wanted you to know that I'm praying for your recovery. You seem like a quality individual and we need more like you in this world.
Miles,You are an exceptional young man.You are so brave and have so much courage.Everybody is praying for you. Hang in there.The best is yet to come.I'm Grandma Bev's sister Karen.
Miles-
We've never met but I'm your dad's friend Joe Gandurski's daughter Lauren. I just wanted to tell you I think it's really amazing that you're willing to share all of this despite what you're going through and your strength and attitude are inspiring. I wish you all the best and I am praying for you. From what my dad says, you are quite an exceptional person and reading this has confirmed that for me.
-Lauren
keep your head up buddy.
Miles, Uncle Len, and Family,
Spring is officially here and the long, dark, bleak days of winter are over. Though not entirely gone. We've had a taste of the warm weather, the smell of fresh grass, the sun-warmed wind on our faces. But winter still haunts us. There are a few more nights below-freezing ahead. We're sure to get some snow. Still have a few more mornings of scraping ice off our cars. Sometimes it feels like it'll never end.
But we are Chicagoans. We have hope and faith that spring will come. We know it will. We see signs of it in the tulip shoots poking through the snow, surviving the nighttime frost. We see robins listening for worms in the soft, moist dirt. At dusk, a moth or two flutter around the street lights.
And then one day, your morning voyage to work or school is colored with the beautiful contrast of neon green and dark brown from the newly budding trees! And you find yourself shooing a honey bee looking for some sugar in your can of soda at lunch! And when you get out of work or school you have to take your jacket off because the sun is too hot on your back!
Spring has finally blossomed. The hibernating world has awoken. Life has resumed. We make our warm weather plans--barbecues, camping, bike trips, days at the zoo, visits to the beach, leaving our windows open at night.
Winter wasn't so bad, wasn't so long. But spring is euphoric. It is life after death. We exult in it's renewed opportunitites and never take them for granted. We are given a new season. A new life.
I love you, Miles, and I can't wait to take you to the zoo!
Love,
Y
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